Saturday, September 13, 2014

September 9, 2014

Dear Mother,

So, today for our P day we went to the Holocaust museum here, and then the Macedonian Museum of National Struggle. We got our P day switched this week because yesterday was a holiday and it would've been impossible to do anything, including email. And all government buildings are closed on Mondays anyway so this was probably the only time of our missions that we'd be able to go to those museums. 

The holocaust museum was cool, there was a lot of artwork on the first floor, which made me think how some people are so much more visually creative than I am. I think some people must think in pictures and color as opposed to words and ideas, like I do. They also had what seemed to be a real cattle car from Bulgaria there. It was so sad. On the other floors Jewish culture and history of the holocaust in the Balkans were explained. At the center of the museum was an artist's rendering of the burning bush from the Bible, and the description commented on how it looked different from every angle in the building. 
In the museum of Macedonian history, we each paid 300 denar for a tour in English, but we might as well have done one in Macedonian, because our guide's accent was so bad I gave up trying to understand him ten minutes through. It was a wax museum. It was creepy. There were a lot of things to read, though, so I did learn a thing or two about this country. You know those moments you have where suddenly something makes sense? I had about a thousand of those in that museum. The graffiti that I see written everywhere here, "слобода или смрт" (Freedom or death) is an adage that began in a revolutionary war here against the Ottoman Empire. (Patrick Henry anyone?) I saw it in old paintings written on flags, some with what appeared to be either old Macedonian or possibly Bulgarian. Graffiti has also morphed the saying into, "слобода или страв" (freedom or fear), sometimes accompanied with a question mark. I guess Macedonia has been trying to be independent for a long time. I remember when I looked up Macedonia on the internet before my mission, it said something about Macedonia not being able to be a part of NATO or anything because of its name. Macedonia is also the name of a state in Greece and Greece still likes to claim Macedonia as its own. One of our members here told us one day how important it was to her to be able to call herself a Македонка, the identity she had grown up with. Within this country itself, people are so infuriated by the government. I don't blame them. It's so corrupt. I don't know if you remember me telling you about how all the fountains and statues here are new and how people here are so mad that that is what the government decided to spend its money on. I said to Sister Schofield, who's lived in Italy, that it's kind of like when the Colosseum was made, or when Nero built his huge palace and the people were angry. I wonder if at some point in history Macedonia will make its mark, or even if it doesn't, we lived here when it happened. Pretty cool to think about.

I had a Francheska sighting this week while contacting in the mall. At first I didn't see her but as she passed me she said, "Riddle..." and then turned back. She was very angry about something and talking so fast that I couldn't understand her. I was just so happy to see her that she quickly calmed down, and I invited her to church again on Sunday. She was happy as a clam when she left. But she didn't come to church.

One day while contacting in the mall due to rain, I decided that God must be British. I imagined a Macedonian man dying and going to hell and praying, saying, "God, why didn't you show me the true way?" And God answers and tells him, "I tried." The man realizes it and says, "Those six kids in Center Mall? Who didn't speak Macedonian very well? Whose name tags were spelled wrong, with their backpacks and rained-on pamphlets? They had the true church, the everlasting gospel, age-old answers about life? They had the true path to exaltation and carried with them Thy word? They could have saved me?" God says, "Yes. It was those kids in Center Mall the whole time." 
British humor. Not very doctrinally accurate, but something that made me laugh to myself when I was super bored one day.

I contacted a family while out on the street one night, and the man was an owner of a слаткарница, a sweets shop, so we went to visit him there on Monday night. He told me he was an atheist but didn't want to be. The shop was closed but he let us in and turned on a few lights and offered us some sweet cream pie. He also tried to get us to drink Боза, a nasty traditional drink they have here made from yeast. I tried a sip of it once and it seemed like it was inspired from someone drinking the remains of an ashtray. He told us Боза is better when mixed with blueberry juice, but I had no desire to make myself like it and so took just the blueberry juice by itself. His friend came over and they smoked cigarettes as they talked to us and Elmaz. His friend was a Muslim and took a long time to make the point to me, "Al Qaeda is not Muslim. If you read in the Quran, it condemns killing other people. If you kill a person, you are no longer a Muslim. Al Qaeda are just terrorists, they are violent people who hide behind the banner of Islam, and it is false. Islam is a peaceful, tolerant religion." I told him I knew and that I actually had a lot of respect for Muslims. It was nice that Elmaz came because he used to be Muslim himself. Overall a good lesson, plus we got a referral without even trying.

I came across this scripture one day in the Book of Mormon while not even looking for anything in particular. I think it says something about how much Heavenly Father speaks to us through the scriptures, and how willing He is to answer our prayers if we will ask Him and then seek in faith. I had been thinking about how hard it is for me to make good friends with the people we teach, and how I'm not a good student when it comes to studying the language, and how there are so many aspects of missionary work that I will never be good at. I'd been feeling really down on myself. Then I read this, Alma 29 verse 6, "Now, seeing that I know these things, why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?" and also some other verses in the chapter. It was very humbling. The Lord called me here to do my best. He knew exactly what I would and wouldn't accomplish here and called me here anyway. I shouldn't want to do anything more or less than that, because anything else is not the will of God. I hope that this realization I had can help someone else who reads this to realize that all you ever have to do is your best. Because I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our lives, and that we can always repent and He will be there, that He loves us so much, and that He wants to help us.

 
Sister Riddle

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